Too much info?

Happy Monday!!! Haha! I thought that this ecard was hilarious! I suppose today is get to know me day because I'm about to unload some insightful, personal, and too much information thoughts into the blogosphere. 

First let me say that I am crazy! Oh wait, did we already establish that in my last post!? Either way, I am a little bit off.  I know it, my friends know it, and even my mother (who loves me no matter what) knows it.  I have a weird sense of humor and I am a webmd professional.  Whenever I have a problem with my body, I don’t do the sensible thing and go to the doctor, I look it up on webmd or google. 
That’s completely safe…right?

If you have never been on webmd, you are missing out! This wonderful website lets you put in your complaints and then gives you a list of potential problems.  There is even a picture of a naked lady (or man if that’s the case) and you can click on the particular body part that is causing you problems.  A list of questions follows the point and click to asses your problems like a real doctor would do.  At the end, the list of probable causes appears.  It’s like magic! Well, it’s like magic to me because I’m a self diagnosed hypocondriac.  Ok ok, maybe I’m not that bad, but I do love to google anything and everything! Is this a problem, should I google therapists or ancient remedies to cure my demons?!!!

So if that wasn’t personal enough, I thought I would share one more thing….birds. Yes you heard read me right, birds.  The little flying creatures that love to come out and play this time of the year.  Why on earth would I want to share something with you about birds you may inquisitively ask yourself, well get ready for a bomb to be dropped on you!!!

I’m terrified! Scared to death! And when I say scared to death I mean pee my pants, pass out, and then throw up all over you scared.  This is a phobia, not a fear. The difference between a phobia and being scared of something is this: if it directly affects your daily life in such a way that you cannot function, it is a phobia.  Guess what…it totally affects my daily life! If you don’t know me or have never experienced an “attack” with me before, you’re really missing out.  I really like to think that as an initiation into my friend circle, you must be able to help me in times of crisis. 

Let me give you some examples of said “crisis”.  Walking outdoors, Washington, D.C., Lowes, gardens, laying out, parks, porches, and life in general.  So if you are not laughing out loud or thinking what a crazy yet, I would really like to meet you! Because, all of my friends and family love to laugh in the before mentioned situations.  I would like to tell you a terrifying story before I end this random posting.

Charles and I lived in the cutest little rent house right after we were married.  It was charming and sweet. We had a garage that you couldn’t park in and a porch that was a 2x2 slab of concrete.  Anyway, when we acquired the house I noticed that the little porch had an ever so slight overhang in the corner and birds would build nests there.  Quickly I made Charles and my cousin cut the corner down so we would not have any more problems with birds.  However, the light that hung down over our little 2x2 area obviously was the perfect place for two swallows to perch and stay for the night. I was trapped in my own home.  I could not go in my front door because of the terror that awaited and the garage was not a great place to get in and out of either! Well, my parents decided to come over one night and after a nice visit, they decided to go out the front door.  I warned them, don’t do it! Birds are right there and they could get into our house! My mom of course left the door open to talk and what do you know, the bird saw the opportunity and flew right into our house! Terror washed over my face and I’ll admit it a little pee threatened to come out.  I ran into our bedroom, locked the door, ran into the bathroom, and locked that door! (I know, what is the bird gonna do, unlock the door and walk in?!) Long story, a little shorter, it took 15 minutes to get the bird out of the house and 30 more minutes for me to come out of the bathroom and bedroom.  I sat on the bed and just cried, my home intruded by the worst enemy of all…birds.  

This makes me laugh because it is true.  The thought of this makes me want to scream!

 So there you have it, a little personal and too much information, story of my so called life! I hope that you feel better about yourself now!

If not, Happy Monday anyway!!!