Disappointment

We've all faced it at some point or another. That dreaded word, disappointment. It creeps in like a thief in the night and takes you over. All your hopes and dreams seemed crushed by that one thing that didn't go right. It could be everything around you was wonderful, but you spent time and effort on something that didn't turn out the way it was supposed to.

That thought, supposed to. It's something that I have struggled with for a while. We ask ourselves, what am I supposed to do, we make plans of what is supposed to happen, or not happen. Then in an instant, the thing that was "supposed" to take place does not. World crushed, tears falling. Most of the time for me, it's silly things that aren't really earth shattering. Like my daughter is "supposed" to take a 2.5 hour nap so I can get some things done around the house. But instead she decided to wake up at the one hour mark and I'm bucket deep in clorox. Or even, dinner has been cooked and the recipe has been followed to the T. It's not "supposed" to taste like this though. So you see that little things happen all the time.

But this week I was reminded of big "supposed" to moments. Moments like, my husband and I were supposed to grow old together, but he just got a diagnosis of cancer. Hearing this from a friend and coworker can break your heart and soul. It leaves you questioning what the real plan is. Why him? Why this? Why now? This isn't SUPPOSED to happen. But I also was reminded that God has a bigger plan than our own. What we think is "supposed" to take place is our will, not God's. As I looked at my friend when she gave me this news, my heart broke, but it also called out, pray. Pray to God for his guidance. I know that when my mom was diagnosed with cancer I was angry and confused. I had to hit my knees and remember who I serve. So with all the strength I had, I gave that same advise to my friend. I tried to be a word of encouragement, but I also wanted to let her know that God has this in his hands.

In all of this brokenness, I have seen faith like no other. My friend has gained a peace (still with anxiety about the future) and she knows that through this trial, God will provide. He already has! Her husband is going to MD Anderson for answers, they have a place to stay, people who have been through this have been in contact with them, and a whole community has surrounded them with prayers.

I'd like to share with you part of my daily devotional. It spoke on this and Glynnis Whitwer's words are much better than mine:

As I look back on my life, the times I’ve seen God work in the greatest ways are when I admit my natural strength isn’t enough. That’s when His supernatural strength is evident. Viewed from this perspective, it reminds me sometimes failure is an opportunity to see God work miracles.

God is always up to something for my good. And that’s a much better way to look at disappointment.

Lord, thank You for working in my life, even in ways that look like failure. Help me keep my eyes on You and not on my situation. Help me trust You more, especially when I face what looks like a disappointment. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The biggest thing that spoke to me was "Help me keep my eyes on You and not on my situation."

What is "supposed" to happen usually isn't what is really going to happen or what the real plan may be. We have to learn to be ok with that and gain strength from it, not disappointment. As you go out this week, remember that failure is ok, especially when God is setting you up for something bigger. Also, if you would, put Robby Michael on your prayer list. His wife Raina and son Landon could use some prayers too. These people show God in real life, they are doing what they are called to do as Christians-- putting their faith in our Father, and it is a beautiful thing.

Have an amazing week!

Not so Relaxing

There are many things that I like to do that most don't. One of those is going to conferences. Now don't get me wrong, there are some conferences that are boring, but for the most part, I love to learn new things and meet new people. I know...I'm a nerd! It's ok, because my latest conference was in Starkville...the land that God blessed specifically. He did not bless all the sports teams there, but when he created a bulldog, he rested and said, it is well!

Anyway, when you go to a conference, you get the joy of staying in a hotel room. And usually, that is a little bit a relaxing time. You can do what you want for a couple of days, free from the outside world. I don't like missing time with my husband or my child, but sleeping in a big bed all by myself once a year is a little bit of a guilty pleasure. So when I got to go to the Legal Issues Conference last week at MSU, I was nerding out, and excited about a little relaxing time alone...

My relaxing time went from amazing to awful in a matter of 3 seconds. As an adult I'm sure you have not spent a great deal of time in the floor of a hotel bathroom. Let me set the scene for you. This was my final night in the hotel. I had spent the entire day in meetings and breakout sessions, so by 5:30 I was ready to go to my room and do nothing. I put on my comfy clothes, ate in the room, and caught up on reading and netfilx. I lost track of time and realized that it was 9:30. I wanted to paint my fingernails (without a 3 year old there to "help" me) and do a pore mask. I got out the fingernail polish and like a slow motion scene, it flew out of my hands, polish flying, and SPLAT on the floor the bottle and its contents spilled. When I say spilled, it went on the vanity, the towels, the floor, in the shower, all over my hands-EVERYWHERE. I started to mildly freak out, but wiped some of the contents up with wipes I had on hand. But after 30 seconds, the paint (that mind you, takes 30 minutes to dry on my fingernails) started to meld with the floor, rendering the wipes useless.

The scene of the crime-after I tried cleaning with the Makeup wipe

So while down in the floor, I came to some revelations that I thought I'd share with you...
1: I'm clumsy! Well, I already knew that, but I'm clumsier than I even thought was humanly possible.
2: Fingernail polish has a mind of it's own. You think it's going to spill a little here and there, no when it's released from the bottle it goes on Spring Break and gets crazy.
3: I am OCD and ADHD at the same time! While the floor was a complete mess, I tried to clean it up before I notified anyone in housing. However, I cleaned at an alarmingly slow rate because I would OCD it up and scrub the floor, my ADHD would kick in and I would see another spot, stop cleaning the previous one, move to the next, see another spot, think about a blog post that I need to write, and then notice that my "cleaning" was really just moving the paint around.
4: Fingernail polish really sticks to grout. I mean they are best friends from a different life and don't want to let go of each other.
5: Makeup remover wipes do a marvelous job of cleaning your face, but not so good at getting polish up.
6: A hotel room was meant to be relaxed in..not spent cleaning like you would be doing if you were home.
7: Guest Services does not have fingernail polish remover available to you, even in an emergency at 10:00 PM.
8: CVS in Starkville is open at 10:00 and the very friendly guy at the counter will not judge you for having on PJs and fingernail polish all over your hands. He will actually tell you about his upcoming trip to break up with one girlfriend and get back together with another.
9: Fingernail polish remover does what it's supposed to do...it removes nail polish. So if you spill some, don't try to clean for 30 minutes with random supplies. Get some remover, pour it over the spill, and wipe up with ease. Really...it took me 10 minutes to clean everything including myself once I had the magic potion.

I hope that these 9 tips help you when you are crazy enough to paint your fingernails at 9:30 at night, in a hotel room in Starkville, Mississippi. Trust me, it turns into a big mess that doesn't get cleaned up and put you in bed until midnight.