Just Silence

I've said it before, but I love my job. I really like being able to help a hurting student see the future possibilities. But as a counselor, the hardest part for me is being silent. It's my job to listen. Many times that's my only job, to simply be there for the student as they tell their truth. And, if you know me, then you know that being silent is not my first line of defense. Even in graduate school, as I was learning to counsel, my professor would stop me and say, "Remember, silence is golden, we find ourselves and our truths in the silence."

That has always stuck with me. I know that I have already written a post about being still and knowing. But being silent is a completely different thing for me. I have learned how important that is from my friends. They have always been there for me, even if it was just to sit in silence, knowing that they were there. Today I was reading my devotion and it really spoke to me. I'm going to copy some of the words from the author Chrystal Evans Hurst below:

Sometimes life delivers news that knocks the wind out of us, and we just don’t have words — for our pain or for the pain of others. And here’s what I’ve learned: Words matter, but sometimes our presence matters more.

When Job experienced great tragedy in his life, he had three friends who came to visit. They came intending to sympathize with him and comfort him. (Job 2:11) But when they realized how bad things were, they mourned with him then sat with him in silence.

“When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.” (Job 2:12-13, NASB)

The beautiful thing about Job’s friends is that they were friends of action. They looked out for him and noticed he was hurting. They came to Job without him having to call them to attention. They didn’t start out attempting to fix his problems but chose instead to simply be with him in his despair.

They acted as friends, even though they were speechless. They joined Job in his active grief but didn’t say a word. There was nothing to be said. They understood the value in the companion of silent presence. They were willing to mourn with him, mingle their tears with his and offer quiet comfort.

I can't speak enough good things about my friends. I have been blessed in this life to have been afforded the greatest people to surround myself. They have been like Job's friends, they have sat with me and offered no solutions, just silence. Just knowing that they were there, was all I needed in some of the darkest times. 

I want to model my life like Job's friends first response, to sit silently and know the great pain-to absorb it with them. I want to be a great counselor and help my students in the same way. 

Do you have a friend who just needs your silence and presence? Do you know that God is that great friend for us? He is always there and you can always call out to him. As you go about your weekend, remember that sometimes, silence is the best medicine. Being quiet does not make us weak, it makes us aware of our surroundings. It makes us available to speak when the right words have formed. It's something I admittedly am still working on. But there is hope yet! Shhh, just listen a while.

Here are some of my friends that I love (I did not put everyone I wanted here...sorry, ran out of pics I had available):